The Bat Whispers- 1930***

This is actually a pretty creepy movie. What really spoils it is the horrendous, non-stop music that bursts your eardrums all the way through. It's the sort of music that makes it difficult to actually appreciate what's going on. A group of people stay in a holiday house believing that there is money stashed somewhere within. Whilst searching for this money amidst the dark and rainy backdrop, a masked killer called 'The Bat' is prowling the grounds, bumping them off one by one. Amusing, but some parts are genuinely scary. Loved the very quirky end though, so keep watching until then!

Big Eyes - 2014 **** 1/2

I knew nothing about this before I watched it, and didn't even know much about Margaret Keane's paintings, but I was utterly gripped by it and found the experience incredibly emotional, even more so that it was also a biopic. I was also thrilled that Tim Burton was back to producing such a strong film.

Margaret is a brilliantly underrated painter in 1950s America, producing stunning pictures of wide eyed children, but her work goes unnoticed by the public, and she begins to lose hope and motivation. Enter Walter, a suarve yet smarmy character who also claims to be an artist (although there is no proof that he is). They strike up a friendship and get married. But Walter isn't all he seems, and with many people, money is his real goal. Desperate to cash in on Margaret, he suggests a deal - that he take credit for her work by signing his name and distributing cheap prints, which at the same times gives her art the recognition it needs. She will get an audience for her pictures, and he will become a famous personality. Margaret somewhat naively agrees, believing that this is the only way her art will get seen. Before long Walter is on a power trip, demanding paintings constantly from Margaret while she works quietly in a little back room in their house. Sooner or later, Margaret realises that this way of life is completely unfair, and it devastates her to see her unique work being flaunted and bragged about by her money-hungry husband who has become quite the household name. When she comes clean to the world that the art is actually hers, Walter cannot deal with having the limelight taken away from him, and refuses to accept her statement. 

I found the story powerful, insightful and completely ruthless, as well as the storyline tugging at my heartstrings. How sad to be so utterly talented and not be able to express your connection to your work to the outside world. A tense and devastating look into the intense relationship between Margaret and Walter Keane. 

(HORROR) Ouija - 2014 ***

After Debbie's disturbing 'suicide', her best friend Laine (shall I call myself Path??) decides to make use of the Ouija board she stumbles upon in the attic. Surely this way she can communicate with Debbie without any negative repercussions? I think when characters are this idiotic we really shouldn't offer any sort of sympathy towards them as they deserve exactly what they get. Without spoiling the obvious plot, let's just say trying to play on a Ouija board is never a good idea, especially if you do so trying to contact someone who has passed away tragically, or if you have moronic friends who 'break the circle.' A half decent horror with a few scares, but overall predictable and rather muddled towards the end. 

(HORROR) Jersey Shore Massacre - 2014 ****

Yep, I'll admit it. I liked it. A lot. And it was purely because it takes the mickey out of itself. A bit like 'Zombeavers'. And I find that really attractive in a movie. You definitely don't want a film of this quality (which is incredibly low) making itself out to be something it's not. A group of slutty, ditzy women go for a weekend break in New Jersey, hoping to meet up with their oafish male counterparts for drinking and sex. But there is a crazed killer on the loose hoping to kill as many of these idiots as possible. Ha-ha. It was good fun, and silly although I hope none of the people in this film are hoping to pursue serious acting...

Another Man's Poison - 1951 **

Bette Davis is usually utterly captivating on screen, but in 'Another Man's Poison' the light seems temporarily vanquished. She seems tired, and her personality is worn out, and it makes for rather uncomfortable viewing. She plays an isolated crime writer named Janet who lives alone in a sprawling old house in England (interestingly Davis's own home at that time). Her dodgy husband is long gone and out of her life, or so she thinks. But one evening he mysteriously appears, and Janet sets about making sure he never leaves again. I found the script worn out and dull, and even Davis herself said she had nothing but trouble trying to create memorable scenes with her onscreen and off-screen husband. Considering that Davis went on to make the superb 'All About Eve' a year later it's not surprising that this was overlooked. 

(HORROR) Unhinged - 1982 *

Maybe this was banned in the UK because it's so diabolically awful? Either way, this was not an enjoyable experience, and the music going alongside it was enough to give anyone a headache. It's like a very bad, slow version of 'Last House on the Left' and concerns a trio of people who are stranded at a weird house because of car trouble and helped by the owners who turn out to be complete nutters. It's exceedingly badly acted and I couldn't care less who lived or died. There is nothing original about it whatsoever. 

(HORROR) Hollows Grove - 2014 ***

Abandoned orphanage, ghost hunters, idiotic people running about, ghosts of nurses who threw themselves out a window, it's all great fun and entirely predictable. Hard to have any sympathy for people who do all the things you shouldn't do in a horror movie. And after finding out you might be in danger you would probably try and get out of a haunted building, but never mind.

Murders in the Rue Morgue - 1932 ***

I have to give ample praise for this film, because the quality of special effects, cinematography and scene design are all far higher than other movies of that genre. It's only loosely based around Poe's terrifying horror story, but it still gives a fair amount of chills, and even at the time was described as 'expressionistic' given Robert Florey's expert direction and Karl Freund's cinematography. The whole package is a nightmarish experience, no doubt exactly how Edgar Allan Poe would've portrayed it. Lugosi was only cast in this after being rejected from the lead in 'Frankenstein' which I think was for the best, as he does such an insane job as a lunatic that no one else would be right for the part. He plays a mad scientist who kidnaps beautiful women and injects them with blood from his cage-bound ape. Lugosi has a wonderful face for close up shots, and here you really get to see the extent of that. 

My Reputation - 1946 ***

The more I watch Stanwyck on screen, the more besotted I get with her acting. I think she's utterly tremendous and I devour as much of her work as I can.

Jessica Drummond is finding life difficult after losing her husband, and looking after her two young sons is taking it's toll. When she meets a man named Major Scott Landis whilst skiing she believes she can finally move on with her life. But this relationship is short-lived when Scott has to return to service and so Jessica is heartbroken once more. A chance encounter with a new man named Frank appears promising, but when Scott turns up unexpectedly in town complications arise, and the gossiping townsfolk threaten to tear not just Jessica's but her two son's lives apart. What I found interesting was how the concept of extreme gossip can utterly destroy someone, and how although the idea of having a boyfriend when you have children is not taboo anymore, the idea of seeing multiple people is still considered wrong. 

Guilty at 17 - 2014 ****

Another offering from Lifetime's '...at 17' range. This time focusing on what happens when you are so desperate to keep a friend that you take part in ruining someone else's life. Traci is a young high school student keen to do well in her studies. But when she is coerced into saying she saw her teacher Mr Adams sexually assault her friend Devon, (which is not true) she inadvertently becomes responsible for sending Mr Adams on a downward spiral ending in tragedy. A rather gripping film. I always enjoy these types of movies.

Into the Woods - 2014 ****

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I would've enjoyed this much more if there had been less singing (and this coming from a musical enthusiast). I felt the story would've stood stronger if it had been a film with songs as opposed to an actual musical. I love different takes on fairy tales and this didn't disappoint. Meryl Streep plays the once beautiful witch who curses a baker and his wife so that they cannot have children. Three days before a full moon, they set out into the woods to reverse the spell and restore the witch's beauty. In doing so they must find a number of objects all relating to another fairytale. On the way they meet various characters all on their way to fulfilling their own wishes. What a great idea for a story!

Oh go on then, I loved it, and the cast was excellent. The cinematography paired with the CGI and soundtrack were all superb. I'm still humming 'Into the Woods' now.

Holiday Camp - 1947 ****

'Holiday Camp' is excellent, purely because it gives you a wonderful insight into what sorts of experiences people had going on cheap, budget Butlins-style holidays post WWII. Holiday Camps by then were at their peak, and thousands of people were able to get away for a week without breaking the bank whilst being able to experience nice food, good company and fun entertainment. 

'Holiday Camp' follows a working class family's annual getaway as well as their interactions with various other characters, such as a pregnant girl who has run away with her boyfriend, a lady lamenting her lost love, a dodgy group of card players, several 'jack-the-lads' and a lunatic serial killer eluding the police. It also signaled the first film of the Huggett family, of which there were several more to follow because of the film's successful popularity.

Great cast, all the old favourites are here and I guarantee you will recognise at least 2 of the actors.

(HORROR) Dark Touch - 2013 ***

A young girl named Niamh is the sole survivor of a horrendous family massacre which has mentally destroyed her. Although her neighbours have taken her in hoping to help her recover she is still plagued with visions night after night, and finds it impossible to make friends with any of her classmates once she is back at school. Despite her original claims, the police do not believe her story that the house was responsible for the carnage, and things take a darker turn when her past comes back to haunt her. Literally. Some areas are very scary, although it's a shame the so called 'kindhearted' neighbours are so infuriating and uncompromising. I have no empathy towards them whatsoever. Lead actress must hold the record for saying 'I don't know' the most times in a film. However, the ending has a big twist that I wasn't expecting. 

(HORROR) Schizo - 1976 *

This is such an awfully acted film. Unbelievably bad. A young figure skater named Samantha gets married but soon after begins to be stalked by a maniac from her past. It sounds a good premise, but believe me it's really not. The acting is horrendously bad, the story starts off quite well but descends into a ridiculous mess, and the stereotypical horror cliches are gargantuan in number. Even the lovely Stephanie Beacham cannot save the day. I'm sure she wishes she had never been involved in this farce. 

That Kind of Girl - 1963 ***

I've recently discovered the BFI collection of 'flipside' films which address topics and taboo subjects that ordinarily are hidden in 'A' movies. 'That Kind of Girl' is one such film. An Austrian au pair named Eva has sexual relations with several men, one of whom is engaged to be married, and in doing so contracts an STI. The film does quite a good job of presenting the topic, although the attitude of the doctor (looking down at her for having sex before marriage) is of course horribly dated by now. the lead star Margaret-Rose Keil is beautiful, and I'm surprised she wasn't in more movies during her short career. The film might have a rather unappealing subject base, but the shots of 60s London more than make up for it. These films are little hidden gems giving us an insight into a forgotten world.

(HORROR) Stonehurst Asylum - 2014 ****

I was intrigued by this, partly because of my love of Victorian horror set in old asylums and partly because of the excellent cast. Anything with Caine and Kingsley has to be pretty darn good (and great to see them paired up again after their wonderful comedy 'Without a Clue' from 1986!!)

Newgate (Jim Sturgess) is a new employee at a strange mental hospital called Stonehurst and becomes attracted to one of the patients Eliza Graves whom he witnessed in a class displaying so called 'female hysteria' at his university. The trouble is, Eliza is in the hospital for severely maiming her ex-husband, and no one is sure of her mental state. There are also a number of deranged patients downstairs in the basement who are all apparently nutty as a fruitcake, and Newgate has no idea how to handle them. The one person he must be able to trust to help him is the asylum doctor Dr Silas Lamb (Kingsley) who seems desperate to convince Newgate that the old methods such as shock treatment and lobotomies must be performed on the patients. But how does he know that the doctor is really all he seems?

I genuinely found this a chilling movie, and the more I think about it, the more I believe it was pretty excellently made. I truly love films which question everything you have begun to feel comfortable accepting, and this couldn't be more true here. You really don't know who to trust and who is genuine, right up until the last scene. Added to which, being directed by Brad Andrerson (a la American Horror Story) was an added bonus. 

My Tutor - 1983 ***

The more films I watch from the 80s the more I realise that the whole decade appears to have been devoted to the idea of teenage boys losing their virginity as well as falling for their very attractive, and supposedly unattainable teachers. Hundreds of teen boy films were dished out with this precise story. This is one of those films, and it's pretty fun, but highly ridiculous. Bobby is your typical teenage boy, highly sexed, and desperate to lose his virginity to his high school sweetheart. His father however has more practical ideas, especially when it becomes clear that Bobby is flunking French. Desperate to get his son into Yale, Bobby's dad hires an attractive tutor named Terry to live at the family home for the summer and coach Bobby up to a desired standard. If successful, he will give Terry a bonus of $10,000.

To start with, Bobby is uninterested, but when he sees Terry in her bikini things change drastically.

You can't help find it amusing, although the lead actor has the most wimpish, high pitched voice I have ever heard on a man, and the longest, 'girly' eyelashes. But never mind. The best thing about these 80s teen movies is always the soundtrack. 

Brilliant Marriage - 1936 ***

Blackmailing, family secrets and scandalous newspaper stories are a big part of this film, and all the things I love seeing on screen. I was very pleased that I got to see it, and that the quality was strong, considering it is supposedly a 'lost' film.

Joan Marsh is quirky and fun, and for a debut performance, Hugh Marlowe made a positive contribution. It's not a standout film in any respect, but interesting to watch in any respect.

(HORROR) The Final Terror *

 

One of the worst 80s horrors I've seen, with such a ridiculous premise that I'm surprised anyone would find it good or scary.

A group of campers (including a very young Daryl Hannah) and their guide go wandering in the woods, hoping for a weekend of fun and excitement, but actually come across a female maniac with a neck fetish who wants to bump them off for a laugh. I wish any of the film had been a laugh, but it was more embarrassing than anything, and the characters were so stupid they deserved all they got. A mixture of any bad slasher movie you have seen, plus the idiot's guide to 'Deliverance' thrown in for good measure. The final terror for me was realising I had to sit through it.

 

(HORROR) Fright - 1971 **

 

For a film I had wanted to see for years I was expecting a whole lot more from 'Fright.' I've started to become quite a fan of Susan George and really had high hopes for this but it missed the mark in my opinion.

Childcare student Amanda goes to babysit for the Lloyd's when they arrange to go out for a celebratory meal. Once they have left however she begins to feel nervous in the intimidating house and is terrified after seeing a stranger wandering about outside. Unaware of the stranger's identity, she has no idea what real danger she is in, or the boy she is babysitting.

Critics say this is the proto-type for slasher movies, but I found it much too over the top, with too much high-pitched screaming from Susan George that very nearly lost her a fan.

(HORROR) Do you like Hitchcock? - 2005 *** 1/2

 

 

 

 

In my opinion a rather poor effort from Argento. Obviously this is a made for TV movie and playfully hints towards Argento's earlier work, as well as a number from Hitchcock (of course it would) but I found the acting to be exceedingly bad and wooden, especially the lead actor.  

Julio is a film student obsessed with the works of Alfred Hitchcock. One evening he looks into his neighbour's apartment to spy on the attractive daughter of the owner and views what he believes to be a murder a la 'Rear Window'. Will anyone believe him? Including his temperamental girlfriend who finds out about his peeping tom behaviour and dumps him. If the film is trying to mock itself and the director then it certainly is succeeding, but if it is attempting to be a serious horror movie then it's failing miserably.  

(HORROR) Crossbearer - 2012 *

 

Lesbians, strippers, drugs and maniacs aplenty here, but a truly diabolic story and terrible acting all around. A stripper decides to ditch her job and her girlfriend and run off with her lover, but before she can do so, she has to take care of a dodgy drug deal in an abandoned warehouse. Once there, a religious lunatic seeking to murder all women whom he believes to be unpure is armed with various implements of torture and is lurking in the shadows waiting to strike. Just awful stuff.

Borrowed Wives - 1930 **

 

Peter must find a wife by midnight or his uncle's generous inheritance will be forfeited. Peter is very interested in the money, considering he is in a lot of debt and has plans to marry his girlfriend Alice as soon as she arrives in New York. The condition of him receiving the inheritance however is that Peter bring his wife to his uncle's estate to meet before the money is handed over. Unluckily, Alice's plane is delayed and so Peter is offered an alternative - the man he is in debt to suggests the use of his girlfriend Julia as the 'wife' instead. Alice is then informed that Peter is actually married to Julia, and they all meet up in an old, dark house.

Not bad, not good, quite funny but definitely forgettable.  

The Animal Kingdom - 1932 ***

 

Griffith and Cukor (who went on to direct 'West Side Story') directed this romantic drama about what happens when an ongoing love affair is interrupted by the temptation of a third party.

 Successful publisher Tom has been conducting a long and passionate affair with the open and free-spirited Daisy. On a whim however, he decides to marry the beautiful and ice-cool Cecily after a short courtship, leaving Daisy heartbroken. Gradually Cecily becomes overly bossy and possessive over Tom's work, and he in turn becomes fed up with her high-class and snobby friends. Finally he must decide whether to stay with her or follow his heart.

Leslie Howard is hardly a heart throb, and so it appears peculiar that two beautiful woman would be fighting over him, but I assume his calm and suave attitude is what hooks them. Myrna Loy is one of my favourites, and it's really interesting to see her playing a different type of character to her usual happy-go-lucky gals. Not a bad film, but not particularly strong considering the cast of leading stars present.