(HORROR) Crossbearer - 2012 *

 

Lesbians, strippers, drugs and maniacs aplenty here, but a truly diabolic story and terrible acting all around. A stripper decides to ditch her job and her girlfriend and run off with her lover, but before she can do so, she has to take care of a dodgy drug deal in an abandoned warehouse. Once there, a religious lunatic seeking to murder all women whom he believes to be unpure is armed with various implements of torture and is lurking in the shadows waiting to strike. Just awful stuff.

Borrowed Wives - 1930 **

 

Peter must find a wife by midnight or his uncle's generous inheritance will be forfeited. Peter is very interested in the money, considering he is in a lot of debt and has plans to marry his girlfriend Alice as soon as she arrives in New York. The condition of him receiving the inheritance however is that Peter bring his wife to his uncle's estate to meet before the money is handed over. Unluckily, Alice's plane is delayed and so Peter is offered an alternative - the man he is in debt to suggests the use of his girlfriend Julia as the 'wife' instead. Alice is then informed that Peter is actually married to Julia, and they all meet up in an old, dark house.

Not bad, not good, quite funny but definitely forgettable.  

The Animal Kingdom - 1932 ***

 

Griffith and Cukor (who went on to direct 'West Side Story') directed this romantic drama about what happens when an ongoing love affair is interrupted by the temptation of a third party.

 Successful publisher Tom has been conducting a long and passionate affair with the open and free-spirited Daisy. On a whim however, he decides to marry the beautiful and ice-cool Cecily after a short courtship, leaving Daisy heartbroken. Gradually Cecily becomes overly bossy and possessive over Tom's work, and he in turn becomes fed up with her high-class and snobby friends. Finally he must decide whether to stay with her or follow his heart.

Leslie Howard is hardly a heart throb, and so it appears peculiar that two beautiful woman would be fighting over him, but I assume his calm and suave attitude is what hooks them. Myrna Loy is one of my favourites, and it's really interesting to see her playing a different type of character to her usual happy-go-lucky gals. Not a bad film, but not particularly strong considering the cast of leading stars present.

Daisy Kenyon - 1947 ***

 

Joan Crawford has never been one of the most beautiful actresses, but she has a presence on the screen that is truly captivating. By the 1940s she was playing the spurned lover-type characters, and here is no different. She plays Daisy, a woman in love with a married man named Dan who although unhappy with his wife, has no intention of divorcing her to marry Daisy. He hasn't told Daisy this however, and she clings on to the idea of the relationship, despite the attentions of a new man in her life who is single and willing to give her everything. Henry Fonda was a bit of a wet lettuce in my opinion and doesn't add any credibility to the film. He may as well not be there. Dana Andrews on the other hand is far too cocky and big-headed, swaggering about whilst juggling two women at the same time, making the audience resent him immediately. It is clear that Daisy Kenyon cannot function on her own without a man, having been with one for so long before, and this even begins to impact her relationship with her two sons who cannot understand why she hangs on the phone to a man who isn't that interested in her and won't commit to the 'nice' man who is obviously in love with her.

All in all the three characters make mistakes constantly throughout the film, and none of their actions appear to be the result of rational thinking. I can't honestly say that I liked or felt empathy for any of them. 

(HORROR) Aerobicide aka Killer Workout - 1986 ***

 

For a horror film that takes the mickey out of itself so much I was rather surprised with how much I enjoyed it. To quote another reviewer, it really is 'mindless fun.' Also fantastic 80s soundtrack to keep everyone pumped up. A couple of years ago, a woman named Valerie dies after being trapped and burning inside a tanning booth. Fast forward to the present day and her sister Rhonda owns a local gym where some lunatic is bumping off the regulars. If you cut out the aerobics classes and close ups of breasts and arses the film would be half the length, but even so, I was still amused, and most importantly entertained.

Some lunatic is bumping off

The Secret Bride - 1934 ***

 

Stanwyck plays the daughter of a prominent Governor who becomes embroiled in a financial scandal. Because of this, she and her new husband Robert who is the Attorney General decide to keep their recent marriage a secret, fearing it might be seen as biased if her husband tries to defend her father. Added to which, she must try to uncover the truth behind the bribe that her father supposedly accepted before it's too late. Interesting movie, and good actors but personally one of Stanwyck's weaker productions.

Turn the Key Softly - 1953 ****

 

Rather hidden gem in my opinion. 'Turn the Key Softly' follows three women from completely different backgrounds on their first day being released from jail. Monica, a well-educated woman from a good background was led into a life as a burglar by her smarmy boyfriend. Stella is a stunningly beautiful woman who turned to prostitution in the West End as a way of making easy money, and Mrs Quilliam is a kind-hearted woman living on the breadline who repeatedly broke the law by shoplifting.

Once they have been released, they make a date to meet for dinner that evening and then individually set about trying to piece together the remnants of the lives they left behind.

Events that occur during that day seek to change their lives forever.

I must say I am a fan of films with characters who are all connected in some way or another and whose actions affect each other, and I was very impressed with the general tone and atmosphere here.